by Freddie Machin
The rejection I could cope with, the perseverance I could muster but no-one tells you that when you get that elusive and long longed for acting job, it might not be as fulfilling as you first thought.
Drama school was an incredibly invigorating and challenging three years for me. Characterised by a huge variety of material, contrasting approaches to drama and inspiring tutors and directors from the professional world. But what followed was less interesting. The professional life of an actor is rarely defined by a sustained foray into new theatrical worlds, new perspectives and ideologies. In fact (at least at the early stages) it seemed to me that what plays most on an actors mind (when they are working) is getting the show on.
This was my experience at least. The opposition of the Actor’s Studio style intensive character creation and the oft-quoted Lawrence Olivier approach of “why not try acting, darling” was the subject of much discourse at school and was now no longer a matter for debate. The general message was: we have three weeks before we open and you need to know where to stand.
Very quickly, following graduation from Manchester Metropolitan University’s School of Theatre I could feel my highly valued discipline waning. The actors I worked with in the real world smoked and didn’t bother with warm ups. The Alexander technique was sniffed at and as for phonetics – completely obsolete.
My acting career flourished but my ideals about art were being gradually deflated and eroded and I wasn’t being pushed hard enough. I like to have tough challenges set me and to know when I must complete them by. My perspective on the acting process, which had comforted me so much whilst training – “take whatever works, and if it doesn’t work don’t worry about it” was now starting to feel like an excuse for inactivity. Surely having a process is not optional? Acting is not just something you do. I don’t believe in talent, I would argue, I believe in the 10,000 hours principle – that geniuses are made on the path to Carnegie Hall – by practice, baby, practice. Commitment, sweat and passion.
I stumbled upon a fantastic opportunity as an actor-writer with Action Transport Theatre and began writing. They gave me the time, the focus and the license to write. But most importantly they set me a tough challenge and they gave me a deadline. I realised that is what I had been hankering after. Writing a play, I would suggest, is less subjective than performing in one. It is much easier to fake it or fluke it on stage than when you are being committed to ink. Stories follow certain structures which can be adhered to or not, but beware that the audience will have an innate expectation of the resolution of your story and you need to know how to sculpt that. You can’t simply say the words – you must create them.
Maybe I was too serious in the early days, about art, about acting, about society – maybe I’m too serious now. Maybe I was too easily deterred. Or maybe I was wrong. But it was writing for the stage that re-invigorated me. Using my keen dramatic sense, honed at drama school I embarked on a new craft: playwrighting. Banging words together on the page, crashing characters together in new locations re-inspired me and gave me back my mojo for acting too. I was eager for more and greater challenges. Enter John Walton, stage left.
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